ISLAMABAD: “Democracy is the second-best revenge,” Pakistan Prime Minister Dr Mian Muhammad Nawaz Sharif said in a press conference on Friday. “The best revenge is letting them make a fool of themselves on the top of a container,” he added.
The prime minister was addressing the media as a build up to the ‘one month anniversary’ of the ongoing political crisis in Pakistan. He discussed his course of action and the solution that lies ahead. But his focus seemed to have been on ‘revenge’.
“Don’t get me wrong, democracy is still pretty kick-butt revenge,” the prime minister said. “I mean it is democracy that has made me the prime minister of this country three times. And trust me there’s no bigger revenge than making a human being the prime minister of Pakistan,” he elaborated.
The prime minister then went on to mull whether he qualified as a human being in the first place, and then discussed the pros and cons of democracy and the ideology of revenge.
“Pakistan Muslim League-Nawaz possesses both the pros and cons of democracy. We are pros at political thievery and have been cons for decades now,” the prime minister of Pakistan said while addressing the media. “And of course, as far as revenge is concerned, as the cliché goes ‘it is a dish best served cold,” he added.
“I remember I was once served a pyaala of bong that was cold as ice, and I have experienced nothing – I repeat nothing – as vengeful as that,” the prime minister reminisced.
“And of course it’s September already. D-Chowk isn’t getting any hotter in the coming days, weeks and months” he concluded.
The media isn’t sure what the pecking order of revenge is, with bong, container and democracy all vying for the top spot.
This satire originally appeared in Khabaristan Times and has been reproduced with permission
